🔒 Is Something Worse than Trump Coming?

It was bound to happen eventually: The Trump administration have painted themselves into a corner, having gotten elected partially on the promise that the government is in possession of the list of elite pedophiles who the conspiracy cookers all believe control the world. Now the cookers kind of want them to cough it up, and they’re being a little more insistent upon it than Trump apparently expected.

 First thing, and I think this should kind of be basic knowledge when you’re dealing with conspiracy theorists—don’t do that. Don’t make direct, tangible promises to them. If you see an easy path to victory in your campaign for king of the zoo that involves getting all of the 700 pound gorillas on your side, then it’s a good idea to maybe make some assurances that your policies will lead to a general increase in the weekly banana ration across the duration of your term. It’s a bad idea to say “there is a giant vault in the zookeeper’s mansion containing six million bananas and I will open that motherfucker on day one.” If there is no such vault you’re not going to make it six months in before you have a crowd of gorillas outside asking “where are the bananas, Donald?” with an increasingly stern tone.

I get it, he thought everyone was going to forget about that shit if he just cranked the “racism” dial all the way to the right and overloaded his supporters’ id with MS-13 invasion slop until they couldn’t remember any of the other stuff he said about pedophiles and egg prices. He was wrong, though, and now he’s got Catturd and Mike Cernovich and Ian Miles Cheong picking up their pitchforks.

 It is very enticing to believe that this might be the thing that finally brings Trump down, but I need you to understand something: What’s bringing him down is not better.

 It would be lovely if, like, the Democratic party or the universities or, god, you know, somebody respectable made a united front against this turd, but the fact is that we’re starting to have to face the uncomfortable notion that Donald Trump is no longer crazy enough for his base. If the Trump voters reject him for being too much of a normal politician now, they’re not going to start voting toward the more moderate end of the coo-coo bananas train.

 We’ve spent so much time thinking about Trump being the worst American president in history that we haven’t had the guts to complete the sentence: Worst American president in history so far.

 What further cacodaemoniacal horrors could be possibly await us in the next election cycle? I don’t mean JD Vance, by the way. JD Vance is sufficiently evil but he’s midway through a DeSantis speedrun between dangerous contender and unelectable dipshit. Let’s look at some unfortunately plausible scenarios:

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