Relax - America Will Probably Just Collapse Now

S Peter Davis

Nov 8, 2024 — 10 min read

Well, not “relax,” but you’ll see what I mean.

So America just overwhelmingly voted for a guy who admires Hitler. That’s not great! When Hitler, the actual one, was voted into Germany’s government he neither had a history of praising Hitler (maybe technically) nor got anywhere near the popular vote. Also Germany was not, at the time, the most powerful country in the world, nor did it have nuclear weapons.

All things considered none of this sounds ideal. And this might sound like a hard sell to anyone who is in a minority group in Trump’s firing line (all of them), but the vast majority of your co-citizens don’t hate you or wish you harm, per se. This isn’t personal, exactly. It turns out that there’s just this universal rule in politics that, if inflation happens during your time as head of state, they’re going to elect the other guy.

It doesn’t really matter what the other guy’s politics are, either. He can say anything, it’s like a magic hall pass. It’s remarkably universal—he doesn’t even need to promise to solve inflation! He doesn’t even need to want to win! If you’re an incumbent and you’ve got a plan for world peace and the other guy’s day one plan is to simply kill every grandma in the country—no through strategy, no policy statement, just kill every grandma—then the electorate has only one question for you: Did the price of eggs during your presidency go up or down?

Up you say? Piss off outta here. 60 to 70 percent of the citizenry rock up to the White House lawn day one with their grandmas in wheelbarrows.

Not everyone acts this way, mind you. Demographic categories play a small part…

So yeah, there’s a certain type of person who is unaffected by fascism to the point where it won’t impact their lives as much as a three dollar price hike on a chicken wrap. Or at least they don’t think it will.

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